Friday, April 11, 2014

Endings & New Beginnings

I mentioned the other day that I have been going through a lot lately. I guess I could have done some big long emotional post about this, but in all honesty I had no desire to do so.  I'm just going to give the facts of the situation because some of these things are obviously going to come up at times.

  1. I'm choosing happiness, better days are ahead. <----most important fact.
  2. Tonight will be my first official night in my new 'home'.
  3. That new apartment is mine alone. It's a small studio in a cute part of town, and it's just what I need.
  4. Yes, moving into new place alone means I am no longer living with J. 
  5. Giving up & moving on are NOT the same thing.
  6. There won't be a wedding anymore.
  7. This was my choice, and I truly believe it is the best for everyone.
  8. Ironman Cozumel is no longer happening (for me) this year. I'm actually happy about this right now.
  9. I never really talked about our relationship much on the blog before, so this won't change things.
  10. The reasons for #'s 2-7 are not really anyone's business but ours. Everyone in this world deserves to be happy, and each of us need different things to find that happiness. 
I'm ready to feel like myself again. This is something that didn't just happen overnight, it's something that built up with time. During that time I became a different version of myself, I wasn't very happy with that person I became. I don't want to be so busy building a life that I forget to live the one I already have. I have so many goals and passions of things I want for the future, and I am beyond hopeful for those things. 


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What I can say with 100% certainty is that I have the BEST support system a girl could ask for. Between sending me messages of support, bringing me candy, helping me with transition to new place, reminding me what it feels like to really smile again, drinking with me, running with me, giving me things to look forward to, all of it. I'm in a good place right now, while yes some big changes are taking place which is hard... I firmly believe that I made the best decision and that better days are ahead.

For those of you who have reached out to me lately, I truly appreciate every kind word and the time it took to send a message or comment. Life has certainly been busy with work, moving, training, taking time for myself and dealing with everything that I haven't had a heck of a lot of 'spare time'. The next few weeks are going to be crazy, finalizing moving this weekend, Boston next, and NJ the weekend after.... I honestly think it's just what I need to get back on my feet with things. 

20 comments:

  1. This is very brave of you to post and I'm sure even braver of you to do. I'm just an email or tweet away if you ever need an ear. You're a strong woman and you've got great things ahead. #onwardandupward xoxo #sassypants

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  2. Laura,

    The reasons behind 2-7 are truly no one's business besides you and those close to you, and there is no need to share them or feel any guilt whatsoever about not talking about that on a blog or social media (I've learned lately that sharing less is best and I didn't share much really personal stuff before...). It's your blog and your business what you want to share and what you don't. I got the feeling that something was up and have been thinking about your a lot, but I'm really glad you have such a positive outlook on your future and what's to come. I love following your blog and reading about your training and life, and you are a great person and have great things in your future.

    The best is yet to come. *hugs*

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  3. I have nothing but the utmost respect for you or for anyone else, that is brave enough to stand up for themselves, and remove themselves from a situation or setting, that they are no longer happy in. It takes so much guts and courage to be able to do that, mad props to you.
    I'm still sorry all the same, but sounds like you will be much happier this way. If you don't put yourself and your own happiness first, no one else is going to. Sending you hugs.

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  4. Good for you for reaching a place of moving on if that's what was needed. Change is hard, but you are tougher. Best wishes for everything falling into place.

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  5. Can you give me some of your strength? My boyfriend and I just broke up & I know its for the best but I can't seem to fully believe it. I know it isn't the same thing but I'm here if you need someone to talk to or compare breakup/moving on notes. *Hugs*

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  6. I don't have much to tell you that hasn't been said to you already. (for now). NJ is waiting for you with open arms.

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  7. I'm glad to see that you're happy, good for you :)

    Maybe now we can do an Ironman together!

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  8. Love you. You deserve to be happy. xoxo

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  9. I'm really sorry to hear this. I'm glad you're doing what you feel is best for you right now. Take care of yourself these next few weeks, focus on the good, and know that you really do have an even bigger support system than you realize.

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  10. It sounds like your in a good place about these changes, even though they are hard ones. Im very sorry to hear about that, but things will start getting better! Your doing whats best for you, and thats awesome. That takes guts! If you ever need someone to talk to Im here, just give me a call and we can go for a run!

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  11. Some decisions are certainly tough but needed. You are a strong girl and it sounds like you are doing the right thing. Keep smiling and don't let anything negative get you down! All the best in your up coming races girl!

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  12. I am so sorry you have to be going through this right now... Or ever. This is never easy for anyone. I am really happy to hear you have a great support system because it will help you out in the BEST way possible. Please, please, please contact me if you ever need to vent! I'm definitely around! <3 We're all rooting for you!

    PS. If you make it to NJ, maybe we can meet up!??! Depending when/where!?

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  13. Oh girl, you are so mature and graceful. #rolemodel Can't wait to see you kill it in Boston in a week!!

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  14. I know this is a tough time but you have a GREAT attitude about this!! It can be SO hard to do what you feel is right in the situation, especially when it comes to a relationship, but you know what? It's better than living your life with regrets. Your happiness is the only thing that you can truly control in this life. While this may seem like a rough decision now, in a few years you will be so thankful that you were strong to do what you did. It sounds like you have a great network, but if you ever need another shoulder, I'm here for you chica!

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  15. I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through this but am happy to hear that you recognize your amazing support group/friends/family and all that they are trying to do for you during this tough time. I too went through this just a short time ago after being with someone for 10 years. 10 years?! But you know what, life does go on and with your positive attitude, it'll only get better! Thinking of you and always looking up to you during my workouts. Keep on keeping on my friend!

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  16. This breaks my heart to read and it reminds me of when you said you had some tough and similar decisions to make when Ty and I broke up. While I know it's not the same cause we weren't engaged, it always works out. You are young, beautiful, and full of so many aspirations. Take this time to do YOU and embrace every second of it. It's really a wonderful feeling. Yes there will be very tough nights (I recommend always having some cabarnet on hand...) but they make you stronger. You got this Laura-know that I'm always a message away :) Love you!

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  17. Hey Laura, I'm always a little late in my blog reading but wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you. And I'm proud of you for making what I'm sure was a difficult decision. Better now than years into marriage with kids or other impacts on your life. Even knowing it's the right move, it's still a loss so it's normal to feel down and mourn what isn't. I'm so glad you have an awesome support system- we're all here for you!!

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  18. Hugs Laura! I know this had to have been a hard decision but glad you were able to do what you knew was best for you. I'm here for you girl if you ever need a friend or shoulder to lean on! :-)

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  19. As you can see I am very behind on my blog reading here. I'm so sorry to read this post and I'm sure you are already in a new place and have moved on (emotionally) by now. If it helps, I dated someone for a very very long time and he was mentioned on the blog but that's about it. When we broke up I just kind of stopped talking about him on the blog because it was so hard. We weren't engage but had been together for 10 years and living together for most of that. I was pretty crushed but I had no idea Ryan was waiting in the wings. I'm absolutely convinced everything happens for a reason and I can honestly say I've never been so happy in my life.

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