Mental Inventory Day

I think some of you might be realizing why I titled my blog "Catching my breath"

My life is busy and hectic (and I love it), and constantly on the go.

With Seneca 7 relay this past weekend (recap here!),

Race season has officially started!

With that said, now more than ever am I going to be 

"catching my breath".

Between life, work, studying, wedding planning, training and racing....

whew, I need to catch my breath.

Heading into such a busy time, is kind of scary for me.

I don't handle stress well (At least I admit it)

I am getting better about it, but it takes work.

I wanted to take a little time to do an "inventory" 

this will be mental inventory,

tomorrow I plan on doing a gear inventory!

 Things that I am happy/excited about right now

Race season starting makes me happy, and overly excited.

I love the rush of racing.

I love the adrenaline pumping and the heart pounding with every step I take.

I am even more excited for race season this year, 

because last year I was on the sidelines and missed a bunch of my favorite races.

I am excited about the fact that we have most likely found our wedding reception venue!

Finding a place we love, 

that has the things we were looking for,

and a place we can afford,

now that's a win!

I am excited to have a renewed sense of motivation with my running.

Everything about Boston this year gave me motivation to run strong again.

Saturday I ran with Hollie and Jen which gave me new found inspiration,

these 2 women are amazing, and I could only hope to be half as fast as they are.

Sunday doing the relay (and we kicked ass) with an amazing team, 

reminded me why I LOVE running so much.

I don't know what the trigger was, 

but I am happy to be a loving runner again.

Things I am nervous about

My first Duathlon is this weekend. (5k run, 20 mile bike, 5k run).

I'm lacking experience on the bike, 

I've never done a transition,

if I get a flat, I'M SCREWED.

I really don't want to fall.

Cleveland is 24 days away.

Although this is #5, 

and I don't need a BQ (already have it),

this race is getting me worked up.

Studying for my Series 7 Exam has me anxious.

There is massive amounts of material, 

and I want to (need to) make sure I know it forward and back.

My hamstring is really bothering me. 

I got a massage last night and she spent 35 of the 55 minutes 

working on a racquetball size knot on the back of my leg. 

"sometimes you have to put the elbow into it"

if that describes how 'relaxing' it was.

I can't get injured, I can't get injured.

Good news, it's not an injury it's a problem (there's a difference)

and I won't let this be an excuse for anything.

List of some Irrational fears I have right now

(I know they're irrational, so tell me to snap out of it.)

My foot is still damaged 

(I had phantom pain in my left foot last week, same foot that I broke this time last year)

[I know it's not, it's just my mind playing games]

Saturday is going to be my first DNF

(That's how unconfident I am going into my first duathlon)

[I'll finish, even if it takes me forever]

Cleveland is going to be my worst marathon time

(This training cycle has been crap, good thing I already have my BQ)

[1. I'm still in better shape than I was for my first, 2. who cares if it's my worst?]

I don't have it in me to be a real triathlete

(I'm bad at sticking to plans, I love running more than the other 2 disciplines, biking and swimming don't come as easy to me therefore I will suck at them)

[stupidest irrational fear EVER. I know I need to work hard, but I will get there!]

10 things I am grateful for right now

1. My fiance: I'm a very lucky girl to have him. 

2. I have 2 jobs, this is a blessing (and a curse).

3. I have the ability to run, I must use it.

4. I can pay my bills, and put food on the table.

5. As much as Series 7 studying stresses me out,

 I am grateful for the opportunity to make this a career

6. Real friends that I have. 

They support me, don't control me, encourage me 

and make me want to be a better person.

7. My family. Great role models for parents, 

& overjoyed for my sister and her husband with their new baby.

8. My health, I feel I take my body for granted far too much, I need to be grateful for it and appreciate all it allows me to do.

9. Caffeine: for without it I wouldn't be able to accomplish all that I do 

10. Making mistakes and second chances...live and learn and do everything you can to better yourself, admit when you are wrong, and stand up for yourself when you're right. No one is perfect, nor will anyone ever be, the only thing you can control is YOURSELF.

What I can do to help myself?

Stick to my to-do lists to make sure I get things done that need to be

Stretch more: hard worked bodies need it

Make time for myself: no phone, no computer, no studying, just ME.

Forgive myself: for mistakes, missed workouts, things like that...it's not worth holding on to.

Stand up for myself: I AM IN CONTROL

Stay committed to my goals: It's going to take work but it will be worth it in the end

Support myself & not belittle myself: I need to stop being my own worst critic

Ask for help: I can't do it all alone, this much I know!

true story.

Have you taken a mental inventory lately?

What are you excited about?

What are you nervous about?

Any irrational fears you have ? -->>

What are ways you help yourself?

We carry on...

Life has been anything but simple lately,

I can't begin to describe everything going on.

There are times I feel like I am getting through it,

and times I struggle more than I will ever show.

Crazy schedules, more to-do's than time in a day, motivation levels on a roller coaster, 

sometimes we have to step back and make a plan.

I sat down with my therapist this morning, 

realizing it had been far too long since I had done this.

Okay, maybe not that long (a few weeks).

But the last few weeks have proved to be eventful,

and life altering.

My words were coming out a million miles a minute, 

she had to tell me to slow down and breathe.

We brushed over everything that has been going on, 

and slowly tackled each one...HEAD ON.

The biggest thing that came out of this mornings session:

I must more forward, and carry on.

Despite everything going on, we can't forget about ourselves.

The next few weeks I am going to be focusing on some issues, 

and really trying to get where I want to be.

Time to pick up the pieces of everything 

and put them back together.

The biggest thing I need to do is get more organized.

I have so much going on right now that it's hard to keep track of...well...anything.

Good thing is that will be much easier in next few weeks.

Why's that?

Because at this point we have 5 (yes, 5) people living in our house, 

with....1 bathroom (no, I didn't stutter).

What's a bigger issue than that,

I don't have a room for my things.

Currently I'm living out of a dresser, and half a closet.

My belongings are in the garage.

I NEVER know where anything is, 

and I don't have a space to call my own.

In a few weeks, 5 goes down to 4 people!(4 to 3 in June!)

Biggest thing that happens, I GET A ROOM!

It will be an office/guestroom/Laura-cave.

I can't begin to describe how much this will help me.

A place for me to be organized, 

place to study, 

place to relax and be alone if need be,

a place for Hollie to stay when she visits

 (since she has to be moving so damn far away).

Simply put, I can't wait to make this house, feel like home.

[For the record, when I moved in with my fiance, 

I knew this was going to be the case.

I knew it would be hard, 

and I knew it would be rude to count the days (out loud) 

until I had a room for my things. 

Either way, life gets easier soon.]

Now I should probably talk about some fitness things,

because it's no secret I haven't been on track lately.

Marathon #5 is a month from tomorrow.

I should probably take it more seriously, hmm...better go for a run later.

My first multi-sport event (duathlon) is in a week and a half 

[hmm...how do those transitions work?]

My only best ab workout lately was last weekend with the stomach bug.

My first triathlon is in 2 months, and well...I better take the floaties off.

 (I think they frown upon those, let me know if I am wrong)

Okay so that makes it sound worse than it really is,

 but honestly I know I am not where I should be. 

The thing I can tell you though, is I won't stop until I get there. 

One thing I REALLY need to learn.

How to ask for help.

If you have figured out a way to do this, 

please let me know.

So bring on the organizing.

Bring on the studying.

Bring on the workouts.

Bring on the hard talks.

Bring on the little sleep and lots of work.

Bring on the emotions from whats going on in the world.

That emotion...yeah...it means were alive.

We all have things going on, 

my lack of organization and crazy busy life, 

yeah they're nothing compared to some.

My reaction to Monday's horrible events, 

overwhelmed and emotional to say the least....

and I wasn't even there.

I can't change what happened, 

and I can't do much to help those who experienced it.

What I can do is be grateful for all that I have,

and use my ability to run and ride and be active

 in honor of those affected by Boston.

Each run...is for me...and for Boston.

Each ride...is for me...and for Boston.

I will stand by my running family, 

even though I have so much going on in life,

I will NEVER be too busy to help my family/community.

How do you stay organized?

With the busy lives we all carry, how do you stay sane?

What are you doing to cope with everything going on?

How are you paying tribute to those affected?

Share your pictures, tribute runs, etc. (I'd love to see & Share!)

Changing the Routine

Well, I have a gigantic confession to make.

I SUCK at mornings.

I love the snooze button. I love my bed, I love cuddling up

I am horrible about getting up.

I'd like to say I am being a drama queen, but It's nothing but the truth.

After telling you about my crazy life and everything going on right now, I really got to thinking about my schedule and the best way to make time for everything. I chatted with Hollie about it, because, well I tell her a lot of things...and she's awesome about running every morning.

For the record I didn't always use to be bad at mornings, I actually used to be pretty good at them. My problem is that for the last few years my schedule has been constantly changing. Having a steady schedule and routine can be really helpful for exercise and life in general. So I'd go through spurts of getting up almost every morning and starting the day with a workout, other times I'd go weeks of lunchtime workouts, it all just depended on work. The good news is, I THINK I am finally able to get a schedule down (at least during the week) and I know I would be better off if I started my day earlier and got a workout in. 

If I could start getting my butt out of bed in the morning, even do a short workout (break up my miles for the day) it would free up time after work for more studying/getting things done so that I don't have to stay up as late to accomplish the same things. 

Besides the fact that working out in the morning is good for scheduling, it's great for the mind/body too. Working out in the morning boosts metabolism, helps improve mood and it can make you more alert. Lord knows I could use a little more alertness during the day.

I actually got up yesterday morning and worked out before work...and again today *gasp!*

instant human...just add coffee!

Yesterday I got up and hit the gym and hit the spin bike for a sweaty 45 minutes, then got ready for job #1 and went on my way. I was planning on getting a run in between my 2 jobs, but unfortunately I had to spend a little extra time in the office which meant not enough time to run and shower (and I can't really wait tables all sweaty, looking and smelling like I just ran...tips might suffer). So I didn't end up getting my run in yesterday but I went to bed feeling better than I would have if I didn't get a workout in at all (since I did get 15.6 miles in on the bike). So we can call yesterday a half-win.

This morning I realllyyyyyy struggled to get out of bed. It's hard to get out of bed when its chilly out and you have a fiance next to you under the covers keeping you warm. Finally I got my butt up and hit the treadmill for a measly 3 miles. I would have liked more but I dragged my feet so much getting out of bed that I just didn't have time. I also am working both jobs today (again) and I know there won't be time between to get more miles in. C'est la vie.

My goal is to do a morning workout 3/5 days next week (I am not counting weekends in this whole thing because every weekend is different with work and races, and life in general). Can you help hold me accountable for this?? Please please please. Find a way to make my phone blow up and kick me out of bed, or something of the sort. John's been trying to help, but it's hard because I think it better suits him if I stay in bed with him in the morning (let's be real here). So this is really going to be a test of my willpower to make this happen. I know it will be a really good thing for me, the first few weeks will be the hardest. This week I did 2 days, next 3, and might stick to 3 for a while then go to 4 (let's hold off on 5, no one likes an overachiever).

What time of day do you usually work out?

Any tips for getting up in the morning?

Step Back and Bounce Forward

While laying in bed last night I found myself thinking about how I was excited for workouts this week, ready to go log some miles and hit the gym a few times, meanwhile I had just ran 10 miles on the treadmill less than an hour prior to this. I was extremely happy to feel motivated for this week because last week I was pretty sure I left my motivation at the airport when we came home from vacation. All week I struggled to get my workouts in, with scheduling issues, lack of motivation, and lack of will power and energy, it just wasn't happening.

Last Week

Monday: Was SUPPOSED to come home from vacation. No workouts.

Tuesday: ACTUALLY came home from vacation in the evening. No workouts.

Wednesday: Back to work after a week away: CRAZY hectic day at the office. But I did get 6.5 miles in.

Thursday: Decent day at work, got 6.6 miles in, then went to the dentist....spent all of Valentines night in pain, looking like a chipmunk and being bundled up on the couch.

Friday: Woke up still looking like a chipmunk, in a lot of pain, and no desire to do any pounding or sudden movements. Worked all day, called in sick for my night job ( hard to smile and be nice to people at a restaurant when it hurts to move your face in any way shape or form)....Spent most of the night being lazy.

Saturday: Pain, exhaustion and migraine finally took over, spent most of the day setting up my new laptop and being a bum. 

Sunday: Promised my mama (yes I still call her mama!), I would help her go pick out some new clothes at the outlet mall and then go to lunch, was gone most of the day. Spent the evening packing my bag for the week and packing more of my apartment up for the move. Finally got on the treadmill at J's around 7:30 for a so-so 10 mile run.

There are so many chances I should have taken to run or go to the gym. But I made excuses and I allowed myself to be lazy and be irresponsible with my training. I'm not happy about it, but at the same time, it might have been just what I needed to get myself ready for some bigger better weeks to come. Which leads me into....

The Penultimate Step

The more I thought about it last night I began relating this to my High School and College Track & Field days when I was a Long Jump and a High Jumper. Now before you ask where the hell this is going, I promise it will tie in. I was a natural at jumping, it came easy and I improved quickly once I really got into it. But none of my improvements ever surpassed the ones that came after I learned the penultimate step. Penultimate is a word that means "next to last", in long jump and high jump this is particularly important. The penultimate step (next to last step) is key to getting the most out of the jump, you have a longer higher step then the last step is lower(height) and shorter(in length) making it so you don't have to force the jump, biomechanics allow you to get off the ground maximizing your velocity and distance. Basically what I am saying is, you have to shorten the last step, get a little lower or back off a little in order to maximize the physics for the big jump. Same holds true for training, sometimes you have to back off a little or have an off week (like I did last week) to help lead you into a bigger better week and get back on track for training. Last week was my step-back which allows me to be more rested and ready to go for it this week.

Although I am still not feeling 100% (I am still rocking a little bit of a chipmunk cheek from my dental work), I am happy to feel motivated again, happy to put my schedule together for the week which will force me to get back on track. I can sit here and dwell on my disappointment in myself for being lazy last week, or I can use the rest and recovery I got to give me more energy for this week.

Some Tips to Getting back on Track

1.  Don't beat yourself up: easier said than done, but dwelling on it isn't going to help. Use it as motivation to be better in the future.
2. Talk to someone about it: confide in a friend or someone you trust. Figure out how and why you got off track, see how far off track you really did get, and put together a way to change it and get back to where you want to be. Telling a friend about it will help you stay motivated and hold yourself accountable for your actions.
3. Look at the community: Pay attention to your Dailymile friends (or other sites you may be a part of), seeing people post workouts should give you motivation to have things to post as well. Look to message boards and blogs to have support about people going through the same things, stick together!
4. Get outside or to the gym: Nix the home workouts for a few days while trying to get back on track. Being surrounded by people who are doing what you're doing will help push you, and a little push can go a long way. 
5. Re-evaluate and Re-commit....I don't track my food all of the time, at least not like I track my workouts. But I have found that when trying to evaluate where I am at, tracking everything even for a week can be helpful. It will hold you accountable and help you be healthier going back into things. Keep a log of what you're taking in and what you are doing to burn it off, seeing it written down or in an app can really help. There are so many ways to log what you are doing, if you want suggestions just ask!
6. Set small goals: set a few smaller goals, such as "I will get to the gym 3 times this week" or set a mileage goal, or perhaps set a goal to log all of your intake and activity for a week. Setting small attainable goals can help you build the confidence to get back where you want to be. Write the goals down, or share them with a friend...and set a reward for each of the goals, working towards something is a great way to stay motivated!
7. Ask for help!  This is an important one. Whether it be asking for help at home with chores or to-dos so you have a little more time to dedicate to working out, or asking a friend to accompany you for a run or gym session to hold you accountable and be there for support. You don't have to tackle everything alone, training for a marathon or any race is a lot of work and requires time, sacrifice, responsibility and it requires support. Make sure you have someone to help you, someone to talk to and be there, it makes a world of a difference!

Those are just SOME of the many things that can help you get back on track, no one is perfect and we all need a little boost sometimes!

We all get off track sometimes, if you have any suggestions or things that have worked for you, speak up!