Finding motivation at IM 70.3 Cuse

I'll be the first to say that training can be hard. 

We put in long hours, hard workouts, push ourselves to exhaustion--

because we love it. 

Don't get me wrong: I don't love not being able to get out of bed in the morning, having to take ibuprofen and wear compression gear like a job...but I do love the thought of pushing myself to that point.

This past weekend, I was struggling with frustration and emotions. 

I had to keep reminding myself why I am tri-ing

Not every workout is going to be great, 

and your motivation will fluctuate...that is life.

Training for Musselman 70.3 has been no exception.

There are days I love it, and days I struggle.

But either way, I still keep the goal in mind and keep pushing forward.

There are days I doubted my ability to even complete my first triathlon, but I did it.

There are days I doubt my ability to complete 70.3 in a few weeks.

But then there are days it just clicks.

The workouts come together, slowly but surely my confidence has been growing. 

Do I think I will podium? Not a flipping chance & I am A-OK with that!

Do I think I can make my time goal? Possibly.

Do I think I can finish? You bet your ass. 

This past weekend I went and cheered at Ironman 70.3 Syracuse.

It required a super early wake-up and a semi-long drive but it was worth it.

My friend Katie came from California to compete, as well as some local friends that were doing it. 

These are all people who have done nothing but support me, encourage me and being there for them was the least I could do.

The weather was brutal; ungodly heat, blazing sun with little to no shade, and it's already a hard course to begin with.

Early morning, before the parking was completely full

Transition

 I got oddly excited seeing transition....only a few more weeks until Musselman when I'll be in there getting all of my stuff set up.

Walking down to the swim start

 After the swim, we watched everyone get on their bikes and then Deb and I ran around for an hour. She wanted miles in and I needed time on my feet so it was a nice slow hour of running in the sun. Just having great company to talk to while doing some easy miles was much needed.

After Deb and I's run we went in the water with our running clothes on to try and cool off. My Saucony Run Lux II Shorts were dry super quick after getting out. Light material and hot day helped with that.

Deb's hubby Tom going through transition

Katie about to Dismount

 Being at the dismount line for T2 was extremely helpful. First of all we got to see everyone and cheer our hearts out. Secondly I learned A LOT. Just watching what worked and what didn't (lots of stumbles and falls) was huge. Transitions are going to be important for me to make up the time I am going to lose on the swim. 

How can you NOT cheer for this girl. She was hot and tired, and knew she was going to be slower than her goal but was still smiling. This was her second 70.3 representing QT2 Systems and she did amazing. Katie has always been motivating and inspirational to me, she is an incredible friend and athlete.

Baking in the sun waiting for everyone to come through... glad I wore my Saucony's to kick around in all day!

I owe Katie a ton right now.
Being there for her was easy, and one of the best things I have done in a while.
It was a reminder to me that Musselman is going to be hard, it's going to hurt and I can't control it. I can't control the weather or whatever may happen but I can control how I react to it. Learning to adjust and adapt is huge, and that might mean changing my goal for the race depending on how things play out. 

Just like that weekend I spent at races (but not racing), this was much needed.
Being around friends and athletes, watching every little detail trying to learn things I don't know, and just soaking everything in was huge.

Everyone has seen this...

Well I'm going to add a few things..

If you're looking for...
Motivation
Faith
Inspiration
Helpful tips
A fun day
Great company
Wonderful atmosphere
A boost to get you through training
Something to snap you out of a bad mood
A reason to try harder...

Go watch a marathon, or a half-iron....or hell...even a 5k.

So with less than 3 weeks to go now, I am feeling good.
My workouts have been decent-sticking to the plan.
I've been getting more comfortable in the water (not faster).
I'm really working on fine-tuning my cycling.
And well..running is running. My love.
I am mentally preparing myself, because I don't plan on throwing any temper tantrums during the race...if it isn't my day then fine but I'm going to finish anyways.

Tell me something that has motivated you lately?

Stages of Grief: Taper edition.

Maybe you know, maybe you don't but according to Elisabeth Kubler-Ross there are "5 stages of grief". The 5 stages are DENIAL, ANGER, BARGAINING, DEPRESSION & ACCEPTANCE. Not everyone goes through the stages in this order, and it's very possible to double back and go through some more than once. Now, when you think of grief we think of losing loved ones, finding out bad news, traumatic events, etc. What you don't think about is the 5 stages of grief as pertaining to.....

MARATHON TAPER

[source]

Well, let me enlighten you.

Denial

Biggest form of denial during taper: denying our abilities.

I haven't trained enough.

I can't do this.

I'm going to DNF.

I didn't do enough 20+ runs.

I'm going to come in last.

Or the opposite, denying the seriousness of a marathon...

It's just another race

Its only 26.2 miles

I think I have said this 238947 times so far during this taper. DENIAL.

One of my All time favorite quotes about denial: 

"Sometimes reality has a way of sneaking up and biting us in the ass. And when the dam bursts, all you can do is swim. The world of pretend is a cage, not a cocoon. We can only lie to ourselves for so long. We are tired, we are scared, and denying it doesn't change the truth. Sooner or later we have to put aside our denial and face the world, head on, guns blazing... Denial. It's not just a river in Egypt. It's a freakin' ocean. So how do you keep from drowning in it?"- Meredith Grey

Anger

When your body is used to working out so many hours a week, and you cut that down to well...very little (or nothing)...you're sure to have some out of whack hormones....do we need a reminder from Elle?

I'm pretty sure Elle Woods is a genius.

And if you're like me, where running is your main stress reliever and something you do sometimes to keep yourself from punching someone in the face...well...taper can be hard.

Little things turn into bigger things, and big things...well they turn into emotional angry tears and a bottle of wine. Either way, we get frustrated and temperamental and we aren't the easiest people to be around....sometimes I think our spouses should get the marathon medals, just for putting up with us.

The good news is, you are eating more during taper, so your chances of getting hangry (so hungry that you are angry) are slim to none. We will call that a silver lining?

Bargaining

I think the biggest thing we bargain for...if I just run one more long run, I'll feel better for the race. Cramming extra workouts in the last week or two before the marathon really isn't going to benefit you. It may mentally help you but physically it's more likely to hurt than help. We beg and plead, just one more workout, just one more run. A marathon isn't like The Biggest Loser, folks there is NO last chance workout. (You can totally quote me on that people.)

Depression

As I said with anger...our hormones get out of whack with endorphin levels lower than normal. This can cause some serious emotions and definitely bring your mood down. Like anger, little things become bigger things and big things become...category 5 hurricanes.

During taper this is how one might react to being told bad news.
Like Starbucks is out of your favorite sugar-free syrup or something. 

[tumblr]
WE WILL FILE THIS ONE, UNDER A TAPER INDUCED DEPRESSION TANTRUM.

During this time, it's also common to get "phantom pains". Your body starts playing tricks on you, and it's seriously all in your head. Twinges and passing aches and pains, usually in spots where you have had previous injuries. I have noticed I get it the most in my foot where it was broken last year, before that my phantom pains were usually in my knees where I have had many problems. We physically feel tired, and pay more attention to the little things about our bodies and it only makes taper depression worse. Weight gain (from eating more and running less) is common and we all know that's more than enough to make you depressed. The good news is, taper is a set period of time and this won't last forever. In the mean time, I'll try not to chop off my foot because of the phantom pains, no promises.

Acceptance

Acceptance, it's a weird thing. When it comes to acceptance in the spectrum of the marathon taper, it comes in a few different forms.

Accepting: The alarm goes off...you're running 26.2 miles today.

Once it's actually race day, it's hard to deny it. It's here and you can't change it. This is when I wake up super early, and try and forget what I will be doing in a few hours. We accept that it's finally the day, but we move slowly as possible trying to give ourselves more time. 

From marathon #3, calf sleeves towel, coffee and snacks. The usual suspects on marathon morning.
Not as good as if I had a photo from #4 sitting on the hotel floor in the corner, but close enough.

Accepting: Standing at the start line

This is where we accept the fact that we're there and it's almost time. This is also the point you see many runners just looking around (people think we are sizing up the competition), when in truth we are all looking for an escape route.

My typical 'focused' look at the start. Trying to accept the fact of running 26.2 miles.

Accepting: The gun went off, time to run

This is the point where I accept the fact that there is no turning back. It's time to run, time to breathe and just move forward. 

Accepting: Marathons Hurt

Somewhere between miles 20-26 you learn to accept the fact that your body is going to get tired, it is going to be sore, and you accept the pain. If you're like me you secretly are wishing a freight train would tear through the course and run you over, but either way...you accept the pain and keep moving.

 

Some examples of pain around 24-25 miles during marathons #2 &3. (definite forced smile on the right but it's clear by my form (and the medicated patch on my leg) that I was struggling. Accepting the pain means continuing to put one foot in front of the other.

Accepting: You just finished 26.2 miles

You did it, you crossed the line, they put a medal around your neck. Regardless of how long it took you to get there, the fact is you got there. You have no choice but to accept finishing because it's a fact...you got there. 

Accepting: Your time good/bad

As runners we naturally push limits, we like to see how far we can go, how fast we can get there. When you cross the finish line you have this time, it may be what you wanted and it may not. If it's slower than you wanted, accept that you finished but don't accept that being the best that you can do.  You NEED to give yourself time to relax and try again DON'T GIVE UP BECAUSE OF ONE BAD RACE. If the time is what you wanted (or better), accept it and be happy...and then accept the fact that you should push yourself to see if you can do even better. Never stop trying, always work towards a goal! I've had my good races, I have also had my bad. I accept both of them and both good/bad races make me want to try again, to be better, to be stronger, to push myself. 

We go through all the stages during taper, and that doesn't even begin to describe everything we go through during and after the race. When they say marathons are 90% mental and 10% physical, it's more true than most realize. We put ourselves through it but it's worth it. 

Have you noticed you go through these during taper (for any race, not just marathons)?

What are ways you help yourself deal with taper issues?

Mental Inventory Day

I think some of you might be realizing why I titled my blog "Catching my breath"

My life is busy and hectic (and I love it), and constantly on the go.

With Seneca 7 relay this past weekend (recap here!),

Race season has officially started!

With that said, now more than ever am I going to be 

"catching my breath".

Between life, work, studying, wedding planning, training and racing....

whew, I need to catch my breath.

Heading into such a busy time, is kind of scary for me.

I don't handle stress well (At least I admit it)

I am getting better about it, but it takes work.

I wanted to take a little time to do an "inventory" 

this will be mental inventory,

tomorrow I plan on doing a gear inventory!

 Things that I am happy/excited about right now

Race season starting makes me happy, and overly excited.

I love the rush of racing.

I love the adrenaline pumping and the heart pounding with every step I take.

I am even more excited for race season this year, 

because last year I was on the sidelines and missed a bunch of my favorite races.

I am excited about the fact that we have most likely found our wedding reception venue!

Finding a place we love, 

that has the things we were looking for,

and a place we can afford,

now that's a win!

I am excited to have a renewed sense of motivation with my running.

Everything about Boston this year gave me motivation to run strong again.

Saturday I ran with Hollie and Jen which gave me new found inspiration,

these 2 women are amazing, and I could only hope to be half as fast as they are.

Sunday doing the relay (and we kicked ass) with an amazing team, 

reminded me why I LOVE running so much.

I don't know what the trigger was, 

but I am happy to be a loving runner again.

Things I am nervous about

My first Duathlon is this weekend. (5k run, 20 mile bike, 5k run).

I'm lacking experience on the bike, 

I've never done a transition,

if I get a flat, I'M SCREWED.

I really don't want to fall.

Cleveland is 24 days away.

Although this is #5, 

and I don't need a BQ (already have it),

this race is getting me worked up.

Studying for my Series 7 Exam has me anxious.

There is massive amounts of material, 

and I want to (need to) make sure I know it forward and back.

My hamstring is really bothering me. 

I got a massage last night and she spent 35 of the 55 minutes 

working on a racquetball size knot on the back of my leg. 

"sometimes you have to put the elbow into it"

if that describes how 'relaxing' it was.

I can't get injured, I can't get injured.

Good news, it's not an injury it's a problem (there's a difference)

and I won't let this be an excuse for anything.

List of some Irrational fears I have right now

(I know they're irrational, so tell me to snap out of it.)

My foot is still damaged 

(I had phantom pain in my left foot last week, same foot that I broke this time last year)

[I know it's not, it's just my mind playing games]

Saturday is going to be my first DNF

(That's how unconfident I am going into my first duathlon)

[I'll finish, even if it takes me forever]

Cleveland is going to be my worst marathon time

(This training cycle has been crap, good thing I already have my BQ)

[1. I'm still in better shape than I was for my first, 2. who cares if it's my worst?]

I don't have it in me to be a real triathlete

(I'm bad at sticking to plans, I love running more than the other 2 disciplines, biking and swimming don't come as easy to me therefore I will suck at them)

[stupidest irrational fear EVER. I know I need to work hard, but I will get there!]

10 things I am grateful for right now

1. My fiance: I'm a very lucky girl to have him. 

2. I have 2 jobs, this is a blessing (and a curse).

3. I have the ability to run, I must use it.

4. I can pay my bills, and put food on the table.

5. As much as Series 7 studying stresses me out,

 I am grateful for the opportunity to make this a career

6. Real friends that I have. 

They support me, don't control me, encourage me 

and make me want to be a better person.

7. My family. Great role models for parents, 

& overjoyed for my sister and her husband with their new baby.

8. My health, I feel I take my body for granted far too much, I need to be grateful for it and appreciate all it allows me to do.

9. Caffeine: for without it I wouldn't be able to accomplish all that I do 

10. Making mistakes and second chances...live and learn and do everything you can to better yourself, admit when you are wrong, and stand up for yourself when you're right. No one is perfect, nor will anyone ever be, the only thing you can control is YOURSELF.

What I can do to help myself?

Stick to my to-do lists to make sure I get things done that need to be

Stretch more: hard worked bodies need it

Make time for myself: no phone, no computer, no studying, just ME.

Forgive myself: for mistakes, missed workouts, things like that...it's not worth holding on to.

Stand up for myself: I AM IN CONTROL

Stay committed to my goals: It's going to take work but it will be worth it in the end

Support myself & not belittle myself: I need to stop being my own worst critic

Ask for help: I can't do it all alone, this much I know!

true story.

Have you taken a mental inventory lately?

What are you excited about?

What are you nervous about?

Any irrational fears you have ? -->>

What are ways you help yourself?

Why we Fall

I don't have much to say today because quite frankly I can't put my emotions into words at the moment. I had a very long night, and still dealing with it all today. But things are going as planned and as of this afternoon we will be on our way to Vermont for the weekend. I could allow the issues I am facing to ruin the weekend, or I can just stand up and keep moving forward. It's going to be a good weekend, and we are going to get through all of this. I have faith and hope in the fact that I have made so many changes to who I am over the course of the last year. 

 "Why do we fall? So we can learn to pick ourselves up"(Batman Begins)

This is true in life in general and in running. I know many people who are racing this weekend, and I hope that anyone who is, is not worrying or stressing. I know it's easier said than done. But you put in the hard work and worrying isn't going to make you do any better, it's only going to hinder the strength you have gained over the course of your training. 

Yesterday I posted about Mental Toughness, I guess that was my subconscious way of telling me I was going to need those skills last night. Being strong in your life can influence your strength in your training. Don't for one second think that your life doesn't influence how you run or how you train. It has everything to do with it. Allow yourself to deal with emotions and then move forward, wallowing for a long time wont do anyone any good.

I hope everyone has a great weekend! Enjoy yourselves, celebrate St. Patty's, be smart, race strong, do whatever you want to do :) It's your life, live it.

Mental Skills & Training

I have been reading a ton lately on training and am overwhelmed by the different training principles, theories and general mass of information that is out there. Each author thinks they have the "key" or the right way to go about something. One author wrote that you shouldn't even try to do a Half Iron (70.3) until you have had 3+ years triathlon experience (Well screw you, I am doing it anyways) [*Slams book shut and throws across the room*].

Thank goodness most of the other books said that because I am already an endurance athlete with marathons, that transitioning into doing a Half-Iron this summer with little Tri-Experience won't be as bad as some experts say. They say it's going to take time, hard work, patience, and mental toughness. Guess what, I have all of those and I am already working my ass of, there is no way in hell I am going to be at that start line July 14th and feel unprepared. No, I may not be following the most normal progression of things to get from Runner to Long Distance Triathlete, but I've never claimed to be normal. [not in the least].

I did find a "Mental Skills Profile" that rather interested me, and I wanted to share because I think this could be used for any athlete not just the cray cray people like marathoners/ultras and triathletes. This is from the Triathletes Training Bible (2nd Edition) by Joe Friel.

( Found this version of it online, unfortunately it isn't numbered, you'll have to number each question for the scoring of this.)

Scoring: Add up each of the numerical answers you gave for each of the following sets of statements:

2,8,17,19,23,30 ---Total:____(Motivation)             

1,6,11,21,26,29---Total:____(Confidence)

3,5,9,24,27,28---Total:____(Thought Habits)

7,13,14,16,22,25---Total:____(Focus)

4,10,12,15,18,20---Total:____(Visualization) 

32-36 Excellent

27-31 Good

21-26 Average

16-20 Fair

6-15 Poor

Then use the scoring chart, to see where you excel, 

and where you may need improvement.

 It's not scientific or proven,

 but I think this can help you gauge where your focus should be.

 We all know running is as much mental as it is physical.

 Don't get upset if you fall short in some places,

 it's a good thing because you know what you should be working on

 to help make yourself mentally stronger.

Look back at specific statements and see what you think you can work on.

No one is perfect, NO ONE.

Find what works for YOU.

I won't share all of my results with you, nor should you, it should be a personal thing. You're the one who has to overcome the mental blocks just like I have to overcome my mental blocks. I will share that I had the best result in Visualization out of the 5 areas. This didn't surprise me at all, I am always trying to picture how race day will go, always trying to imagine the sites and feelings coming across the finish line. I do this in longer/harder training runs and it helps get me through it. I alluded to this in Bust Through Boredom post at the bottom of it. I will visualize to the point where my heart rate goes up, my emotions get high, and I can physically feel the things I am visualizing (Usually crossing finish line of a big race), I have gotten choked up during runs before because I was picturing the moment I BQ'd, or the picture of my friends/families faces as I  accomplished one of my goals. Visualization works great for me, maybe not for everyone but maybe try it sometime. I don't care if I sound like an idiot, but the number of times I have pictured myself throwing my hands up like Rocky crossing a finish line is an astronomical number but it has helped me push through hard workouts and races and got me where I wanted to be.

For the record: I scored least in habits (since I shared my highest score, only fair I tell you where I am lacking)... I really need to work on keeping routine, and keeping positive when things go wrong. I'll be the first to admit I can let a bad race eat away at me.


Last nights workout was long and tiring but I made it through. I know I have plenty of longer workouts ahead of me as I train for another Marathon and train to complete my first Half-Ironman.

I did a backward triathlon last night, yes it is still accomplishing something if you do it backwards. And yes I know that I have to do proper bricks as well, but all of my workouts wont be done in normal progression, but until after the marathon I need to split my focus between running/triathlon. Once the marathon is over, majority of my workouts will be in true triathlon fashion.

<<[Preworkout shot last night, ready to go, notice the gigantic overflowing bag that accompanies me to the gym when I am doing all 3 disciplines...I think the people at the JCC think I bring an overnight bag with me, nope just gonna do a workout longer than a sprint distance triathlon]

3.1 mile run in 25:45 (8:18 pace) [157 avg. HR Zone 2-3]

 90 Minute Endurance Ride
30.1 miles ( 20 mph avg)
[136 Avg. HR, Zone 2]

<<[This is what my face looks like when I look at the screen and realize I am only halfway done with my 90 minute ride. Words cant describe how excited I am for spring so I can ride outside and be so much less bored with long rides!]

<<[ Yay! Run and Bike are done, red and sweaty and ready to jump in the pool!]

900 Yard Swim (Roughly half mile)

19:06

4th discipline of the workout: professional eating competition. I won. Against Myself. Subway Egg-white breakfast flat-bread 6"(I love that they now serve it all day!), juice (fresh squeezed green), berries with Greek yogurt and protein powder, 2 bananas.

If there is anything I have learned throughout all of my training it's that it really is mind over matter. Our sport(s) are very much so a mental game, yes there is a huge physical aspect but mental toughness is just as important.

What do you think is more important, physical or mental aspects?

Have you ever thought about ways you could improve your mental toughness to also improve your performance?

Any tips to share on how I could be better about not letting bad races/workout get the best of me mentally?