Musselman Weekend!

So, this weekend is kind of a big deal. I'm doing my first half-iron distance triathlon. Holy moly it feels a lot more real when I say it's this weekend, as in 2 days from now. Eek. Pardon me while I go throw a taper tantrum.

Okay, I'm back. As I was saying, Musselman 70.3 is this Sunday, and I am everything I should be right now: Excited, nervous, and everything in between.

I will be leaving this afternoon for Seneca Lake, it's super nice that J's parents live over there so it feels more like home than having to crash at some rando-place. It will be a weekend with friends, family and fabulous motivation.


I don't know if I mentioned this before, but I am volunteering at the Sprint Tri (Mini-Mussel) on Saturday. John and I will be at the mount/dismount line cheering people one, and yelling at them to get on/off bikes in time. I'm excited to cheer and be there, give me good inspiration for Sunday's race!

As for Sunday: I start the swim at 7:07 AM (3rd wave, yellow caps). With any luck I'll be out of the water and on the bike by... noon. Haha. Okay, maybe I am exaggerating a bit. I do know I have the disadvantage from the start with my swim being super weak, but once I get on the bike I'll feel more comfortable. My plan for the bike is to just go steady, I don't plan on breaking speed barriers- no need in wasting the extra energy. As for the run, It's going to be interesting for sure. The half-marathon course is hilly, and at the time I will be getting on the run it will be heading into the hottest part of the day (fun, ay?). Plan is to shove as many wet sponges wherever I can fit them, and hydrate hydrate hydrate at each water stop.

Pre-Race thoughts: It's a different feeling to me heading into this thing. Hollie asked me if I was more nervous than before the marathons I have done. I wouldn't say more nervous just different nervous. My nerves before marathons or other running races are nerves about "how fast can I go" "how far can I push myself today", that isn't the case with this race. I cannot put"swim" and "fast" in the same sentence with myself. As for the bike, I don't have that comfort level to really push myself on there like I do with running so I tend to air on the side of caution and that slows me down. That half marathon, well I know it won't be my fastest but it might not be my slowest. I know what I would like to run it in, but let's be honest: after swimming 1.2 miles and biking 56, my legs are most likely not going to do what I want them to while asking them to run 13.1. I'm heading into this race with little expectation and that's a good thing. I'm gonna start out way behind on the swim, I'll catch up some on the bike and I'm lucky enough to have my strongest event last....and hopefully be picking off people on the run.

I feel comfortable knowing I will be decked out in solid supportive and comfortable +Saucony gear. Yes the A5's I said I wasn't going to run in, they made the bag....we will see what happens. Either way I'll have Saucony on my feet....and my head...and body...and #findyourstrong on my mind.

The "can't leave home without" bag. Everything I need for race day is in one bag :) nerd alert.

Do you have a special way of packing for races?

Any last minute advice for my 70.3 rookie self?

What are your plans for this weekend, who is racing???

 I also need to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my fast & fabulous best friend Hollie. This lady has been serious support and well, she just plain old rocks. Y'all should do yourselves a favor and wish her a happy day. NOW. I'm sad I can't run with her today, or even be there to sing obnoxiously to her....but I know she understands that I would if I could!

She's my partner in crime....shenanagins at their finest!

Finding motivation at IM 70.3 Cuse

I'll be the first to say that training can be hard. 

We put in long hours, hard workouts, push ourselves to exhaustion--

because we love it. 

Don't get me wrong: I don't love not being able to get out of bed in the morning, having to take ibuprofen and wear compression gear like a job...but I do love the thought of pushing myself to that point.

This past weekend, I was struggling with frustration and emotions. 

I had to keep reminding myself why I am tri-ing

Not every workout is going to be great, 

and your motivation will fluctuate...that is life.

Training for Musselman 70.3 has been no exception.

There are days I love it, and days I struggle.

But either way, I still keep the goal in mind and keep pushing forward.

There are days I doubted my ability to even complete my first triathlon, but I did it.

There are days I doubt my ability to complete 70.3 in a few weeks.

But then there are days it just clicks.

The workouts come together, slowly but surely my confidence has been growing. 

Do I think I will podium? Not a flipping chance & I am A-OK with that!

Do I think I can make my time goal? Possibly.

Do I think I can finish? You bet your ass. 

This past weekend I went and cheered at Ironman 70.3 Syracuse.

It required a super early wake-up and a semi-long drive but it was worth it.

My friend Katie came from California to compete, as well as some local friends that were doing it. 

These are all people who have done nothing but support me, encourage me and being there for them was the least I could do.

The weather was brutal; ungodly heat, blazing sun with little to no shade, and it's already a hard course to begin with.

Early morning, before the parking was completely full

Transition

 I got oddly excited seeing transition....only a few more weeks until Musselman when I'll be in there getting all of my stuff set up.

Walking down to the swim start

 After the swim, we watched everyone get on their bikes and then Deb and I ran around for an hour. She wanted miles in and I needed time on my feet so it was a nice slow hour of running in the sun. Just having great company to talk to while doing some easy miles was much needed.

After Deb and I's run we went in the water with our running clothes on to try and cool off. My Saucony Run Lux II Shorts were dry super quick after getting out. Light material and hot day helped with that.

Deb's hubby Tom going through transition

Katie about to Dismount

 Being at the dismount line for T2 was extremely helpful. First of all we got to see everyone and cheer our hearts out. Secondly I learned A LOT. Just watching what worked and what didn't (lots of stumbles and falls) was huge. Transitions are going to be important for me to make up the time I am going to lose on the swim. 

How can you NOT cheer for this girl. She was hot and tired, and knew she was going to be slower than her goal but was still smiling. This was her second 70.3 representing QT2 Systems and she did amazing. Katie has always been motivating and inspirational to me, she is an incredible friend and athlete.

Baking in the sun waiting for everyone to come through... glad I wore my Saucony's to kick around in all day!

I owe Katie a ton right now.
Being there for her was easy, and one of the best things I have done in a while.
It was a reminder to me that Musselman is going to be hard, it's going to hurt and I can't control it. I can't control the weather or whatever may happen but I can control how I react to it. Learning to adjust and adapt is huge, and that might mean changing my goal for the race depending on how things play out. 

Just like that weekend I spent at races (but not racing), this was much needed.
Being around friends and athletes, watching every little detail trying to learn things I don't know, and just soaking everything in was huge.

Everyone has seen this...

Well I'm going to add a few things..

If you're looking for...
Motivation
Faith
Inspiration
Helpful tips
A fun day
Great company
Wonderful atmosphere
A boost to get you through training
Something to snap you out of a bad mood
A reason to try harder...

Go watch a marathon, or a half-iron....or hell...even a 5k.

So with less than 3 weeks to go now, I am feeling good.
My workouts have been decent-sticking to the plan.
I've been getting more comfortable in the water (not faster).
I'm really working on fine-tuning my cycling.
And well..running is running. My love.
I am mentally preparing myself, because I don't plan on throwing any temper tantrums during the race...if it isn't my day then fine but I'm going to finish anyways.

Tell me something that has motivated you lately?

Mental Inventory Day

I think some of you might be realizing why I titled my blog "Catching my breath"

My life is busy and hectic (and I love it), and constantly on the go.

With Seneca 7 relay this past weekend (recap here!),

Race season has officially started!

With that said, now more than ever am I going to be 

"catching my breath".

Between life, work, studying, wedding planning, training and racing....

whew, I need to catch my breath.

Heading into such a busy time, is kind of scary for me.

I don't handle stress well (At least I admit it)

I am getting better about it, but it takes work.

I wanted to take a little time to do an "inventory" 

this will be mental inventory,

tomorrow I plan on doing a gear inventory!

 Things that I am happy/excited about right now

Race season starting makes me happy, and overly excited.

I love the rush of racing.

I love the adrenaline pumping and the heart pounding with every step I take.

I am even more excited for race season this year, 

because last year I was on the sidelines and missed a bunch of my favorite races.

I am excited about the fact that we have most likely found our wedding reception venue!

Finding a place we love, 

that has the things we were looking for,

and a place we can afford,

now that's a win!

I am excited to have a renewed sense of motivation with my running.

Everything about Boston this year gave me motivation to run strong again.

Saturday I ran with Hollie and Jen which gave me new found inspiration,

these 2 women are amazing, and I could only hope to be half as fast as they are.

Sunday doing the relay (and we kicked ass) with an amazing team, 

reminded me why I LOVE running so much.

I don't know what the trigger was, 

but I am happy to be a loving runner again.

Things I am nervous about

My first Duathlon is this weekend. (5k run, 20 mile bike, 5k run).

I'm lacking experience on the bike, 

I've never done a transition,

if I get a flat, I'M SCREWED.

I really don't want to fall.

Cleveland is 24 days away.

Although this is #5, 

and I don't need a BQ (already have it),

this race is getting me worked up.

Studying for my Series 7 Exam has me anxious.

There is massive amounts of material, 

and I want to (need to) make sure I know it forward and back.

My hamstring is really bothering me. 

I got a massage last night and she spent 35 of the 55 minutes 

working on a racquetball size knot on the back of my leg. 

"sometimes you have to put the elbow into it"

if that describes how 'relaxing' it was.

I can't get injured, I can't get injured.

Good news, it's not an injury it's a problem (there's a difference)

and I won't let this be an excuse for anything.

List of some Irrational fears I have right now

(I know they're irrational, so tell me to snap out of it.)

My foot is still damaged 

(I had phantom pain in my left foot last week, same foot that I broke this time last year)

[I know it's not, it's just my mind playing games]

Saturday is going to be my first DNF

(That's how unconfident I am going into my first duathlon)

[I'll finish, even if it takes me forever]

Cleveland is going to be my worst marathon time

(This training cycle has been crap, good thing I already have my BQ)

[1. I'm still in better shape than I was for my first, 2. who cares if it's my worst?]

I don't have it in me to be a real triathlete

(I'm bad at sticking to plans, I love running more than the other 2 disciplines, biking and swimming don't come as easy to me therefore I will suck at them)

[stupidest irrational fear EVER. I know I need to work hard, but I will get there!]

10 things I am grateful for right now

1. My fiance: I'm a very lucky girl to have him. 

2. I have 2 jobs, this is a blessing (and a curse).

3. I have the ability to run, I must use it.

4. I can pay my bills, and put food on the table.

5. As much as Series 7 studying stresses me out,

 I am grateful for the opportunity to make this a career

6. Real friends that I have. 

They support me, don't control me, encourage me 

and make me want to be a better person.

7. My family. Great role models for parents, 

& overjoyed for my sister and her husband with their new baby.

8. My health, I feel I take my body for granted far too much, I need to be grateful for it and appreciate all it allows me to do.

9. Caffeine: for without it I wouldn't be able to accomplish all that I do 

10. Making mistakes and second chances...live and learn and do everything you can to better yourself, admit when you are wrong, and stand up for yourself when you're right. No one is perfect, nor will anyone ever be, the only thing you can control is YOURSELF.

What I can do to help myself?

Stick to my to-do lists to make sure I get things done that need to be

Stretch more: hard worked bodies need it

Make time for myself: no phone, no computer, no studying, just ME.

Forgive myself: for mistakes, missed workouts, things like that...it's not worth holding on to.

Stand up for myself: I AM IN CONTROL

Stay committed to my goals: It's going to take work but it will be worth it in the end

Support myself & not belittle myself: I need to stop being my own worst critic

Ask for help: I can't do it all alone, this much I know!

true story.

Have you taken a mental inventory lately?

What are you excited about?

What are you nervous about?

Any irrational fears you have ? -->>

What are ways you help yourself?

What's up Wednesday 4/10

Life is busy right now: understatement of the century.

In order to wrap my own head around everything going on, I'm going to go back to a"What's up Wednesday" Post...Maybe it will help me make sense of it all (probably not.)

What's up with Marathon Training
Marathon #5 (Cleveland) is 38 days away, and at this point I am right on track for my goal: to finish.

In all seriousness, I did go into training for this marathon with the goal of just a solid time and another 26.2 in the books. But throughout the course of training I wavered between wanting to train for a faster time, and taking a conservative approach knowing my first half-iron man is a mere 56 days after the marathon.

I've done it before, I know I can do it again.

Training hasn't been great, it hasn't been horrible, but definitely not great.

My biggest problem right now is my motivation, or lack there of. Hopefully it shows up sometime soon, it did however make an appearance for this past Sunday's 20 miler, so maybe it's not 6 feet under, just 2 or 3 feet. Give me a shovel and some shit-kickers and Ill find that damn motivation if it's the last thing I do.

Realistically my goal for Cleveland has stayed in the "finish within my previous marathon ranges" which is good for me, seeing as my marathon times are in a wide range. Slowest being 3:46 and fastest being 3:21.....That gives me a 25 minute range to finish within, I think I can make that happen. (fingers crossed, oh hell everything is crossed at this point)


Whats up with Triathlon training?
Now that I have a new love of my life bike, I am feeling better heading into the Duathlon in a few weeks and tri's this summer. It's going to be a learning experience no matter what, so my expectations are less than stellar. No I am not selling myself short, or saying I can't do it, I'm just saying this is most likely going to suck time wise, and I am okay with that. John is going to take some time with me soon to help me with transition things, and other triathlon related issues which I know will help make me feel more comfortable.

Here's where things get a little....hectic....
A few weeks ago I announced I was enrolled in a Certified Personal Trainer course through ACE Fitness. At that time, I enrolled because I wanted to be working on something to better myself, and it was something my fiance and I could do together (we are both going through the program). I knew that at some point I was going to be taking some steps to further my career in the financial industry, but I assumed that was going to be down the road.

You know that saying... when you ASSume....(yeah we all know how that one ends)

Well shortly after I had decided to enroll in the CPT course, my boss decided to take me out to lunch. Little did I know I was in for much more than a meal. I knew that he has been wanting to retire but has had a hard time letting the business go. He came up with a solution which he proposed to me. Starting this summer, he is going to be only working 2-3 days a week so he can spend more time with his family (and golfing), which leaves me with a lot to manage. He also told me that he spoke with our affiliate company about sponsoring me to start working towards my Series 7 license. BOOM. For those of you who aren't familiar, a Series 7 license is required to be a registered representative of a broker-dealer, it's also known as the stockbroker exam.

I'll be honest, I took the job in the fall as a way to pay bills, never expecting it to be more than that.  This little old job just turned into a career. ("we're adults when did that happen and how do we make it stop?"-Grey's Anatomy)

I am over the moon about this, it's nothing close to what I EVER thought I would be doing, but I love it and it just so happens I'm good at it and pick up on it easily. It means a lot of changes though. This is a grueling 6 hour exam, which will take me to hell and back. Let's call it another job, because the studying I need to put into this is about as much time as I spend on work or training right now. I know that it will be worth it in the end, it just means the little time I have now is getting even smaller.

This also means that on top of 2 jobs, wedding planning and training...I am studying for my CPT (since I am enrolled in a program I have a certain amount of time in which I need to take the exam), AND studying for my Series 7 exam at the same time. [I'm exhausted just thinking about it all]

I know, I know, there are people with more going on. People with kids, people with more responsibilities. But the fact is, I don't have kids, but I still have a hell of a lot of responsibility right now. My training really is going to be my only "me time" for a while, and let's not even talk about the impact this is going to have on my time with the hubby-to-be.

The good thing is, he has been nothing but supportive and knows this is a really good thing for me, and down the road it will be worth it. Our dinner dates are now study dates, our reading in bed before bed is at an all time high, and both of our stress levels are well... lets just say, not low. The fact is, we don't always have a lot of time together as it is (and we live together), and this presents new challenges, but that's life. We are still going to going to be there for each other and make sure that we get time together, make sure we are "us", we are still looking at our future. The wedding will still happen next year, planning just has to take a back seat for the time being until we knock some things off the to-do list. Good news is, I already have my fabulous dress...so put me on a plane to Vegas and let's do this thing (well, not really....but if it happens, don't say I didn't warn you).

Now, more than ever training is going to be so important for me. Exercise is my stress reliever, exercise is my me time, and Lord knows I am going to need that to get through the next few months.

Am I going to have to be creative with my workouts in my schedule? Yes

Are there times I am going to be tired, and stressed and worn out? Yes

Can I get through that? absofuckinglutley

Running is my release, always has been and always will be. So my motivation might have taken some vacations a few times already this year, but when it comes down to it, I know that exercise and fitness is a priority and I need to make it happen. No way I can handle getting slow and gaining weight on top of everything so it's time to focus.

What are some ways you get workouts in when you simply don't have the time?

What are some tips about managing a schedule that you have?

I am Trying, I swear

Ever have one of those days where you really doubt yourself, doubt your ability to accomplish things, doubt the way you look and feel? Those days you are focusing on the things you aren't doing, or the things you are doing wrong. Well the truth is, today is one of those days for me.

And we all know that if you say you have never felt that way, that you're full of crap. Just saying.

Well I am going to try something new today, instead of dwelling on those things, I am going to look at all the things I AM doing and ways I am working to make myself a better person, physically and emotionally.

I am trying to work towards Marathon number 5: This training cycle is different from my others, because I am also training for other things at the same time and I am not training for a PR. BUT I can't let that distract me, I am focusing on the fact that I know if I put in the effort I will get to the marathon and be prepared and cross the finish line, and then bounce back for the things to come after. I have to keep reminding myself that I can do this, it's not my first time and it wont be my last. So for all of you looking to run your first marathon, know that the anxiety doesn't always go away, even people with experience face the same issues you are going through, you are not alone.

I am trying to knock some books off of my reading list: Reading is incredibly important to me, I am always reeling for more knowledge and inspiration. I need a little boost right now, so I am reading some lighter,less serious and more fun reads. I will let you know how they are as I read along. The skinny Bitchin' is a journal type, so I think I'll use that in my blog posts to prompt some post ideas and reader feedback. The Mindy Kaling book is pretty good so far, talks about her struggles with weight as a kid, and her take on life; comic relief is a good way to describe it.

I am Tri-ing...well literally. For those who don't know, I am tackling my first half-ironman(70.3) this July. I don't claim to know very much about the whole multi-sport world, but I will do everything I can to learn. My training for it is going to be....dysfunctional at best. But to be honest that is how most of my training plans look. I have been floating back and forth between feeling confident and feeling completely terrified. So I am going to focus on the things I have been doing to help get to my goal. I have been biking more than normal, I have been trying to bike before my runs, to get the feeling of running after riding. I have been getting in the pool occasionally, I went today (went yesterday too) because I know this is something I really need to do more of. I need to stop focusing on the fact that I am new to tri's and just dive into this head first, no point in sticking your toe in the water first to see if it's cold. I know tri- training is going to be hard, more challenging than just my running, especially since I am training for running specific races at the same time. I am not going into this with the idea that it is going to be sunshine and daisies, I am ready for the challenge I just need to get my head on straight and get my ass to work.

I am trying to plan a wedding...Dear lord who knew this shin-dig would be such a pain in the ass to plan. I give wedding planners credit, it's bad enough dealing with myself during wedding planning, let alone someone else. Screw that! After we got engaged I was all Gung-ho on planning, then the holidays happened, and my sister baby showers that needed planned, and before I knew it....months had gone by and I hadn't gotten much accomplished on planning. Now that I am trying to get back into planning mode again, I just need to get organized and focus on what I have already done, and what the most important next steps are. For the record I have one BIG thing taken off the list... I HAVE MY DRESS :) [now I just need to make sure I can still fit into it next year for the wedding!]

I am trying not to be a self-conscious girl..but well that isn't going so well. I have been struggling emotionally with my weight lately. Before you get all "OH hell no, little white bitch didn't just say she's fat" on me, let me explain. NO I don't think I am fat, but I do think I can work on my body and trim down in some places, and tone others. There is nothing wrong with wanting to better yourself and as long as you are realistic. I am realistic knowing I really don't have a lot of weight I could lose, and knowing that I shouldn't lose much either. I am a girl though, I worry about how I feel, I worry about how I am seen. Although I may not have a lot to lose, I really want to focus on getting more lean and toning some trouble spots that I have. I just need to keep my eating in check and focus on my training. But I am a girl and there will be days things wont fit like I want and day's I'll feel less than fit, but I've learned to use those days as motivation to work my ass off to get to the days where I can look in the mirror and think "Damn I'm good"

I am trying to better myself... as I have said a million times and will continue to say, I am far from perfect. I haven't always been the person I know I am capable of being. I see a therapist (saw her today, she awesome...just saying), and I don't care what people think about that. I have seen one since I was 14 years old and have been judged for it from the moment I started. Let me say this though, we all have problems, no one is perfect, and I believe there are more people in this world who need therapy more than I do. I have issues, but at least I am willing to get help and work on them, work on making myself into a better version of me. I am not hiding behind things, or pretending everything is okay, I am not trying to control other peoples lives simply because I cannot control my own (A lot of experience with someone doing this...it's not a healthy friendship to be in...hence the reason it's done). I work hard every day, to be a good Fiance, a good friend, a good employee, a good athlete, and a good me. I make mistakes, I have a temper, and I can be the biggest stubborn pain in the ass you'll meet, but I am working on it. That is the best that I can tell you.

So basically what I am saying is...
Today was an off day for me, it happens, sometimes you can't stop it from happening. I had no motivation, my clothes didn't fit the way I wanted, I am over-tired and would love to curl up in a ball. But I have learned to make the most of it. I did what I could today, I got my work done, I pushed through a run that I really didn't want to do, I swam again to build my confidence for Tri's, I spilled my guts at therapy, I cleaned out the rest of my apartment, and now I am sitting here writing this. I also plan on getting on the bike later while I do laundry, nothing turns an off day around like endorphins and productivity.